He’s ended it and you don’t know what to do, he’s probably moved on and it really hurts seeing your ex narcissist with his new girlfriend. You want to win the narcissist back but aren’t sure how.
You are probably feeling jealous and upset that he has discarded you so easily and you feel like you’d do anything just to have him back by your side. Please stop! Put a hold on those emotions and plan your next move.
Trauma bonding is likely keeping you in a stuck place where all you can think of is wanting him back. Before you rush to try and get the narcissist back, please remember the relationship is unlikely to ever change.
Narcs want everything on their terms and it’s very likely that even if you win the narcissist back you’ll end up hurt again . I don’t need to tell you that it’s much better for you to walk away and find someone deserving of your love. However I know that it’s not easy so if you want to try and win the narcissist back, here are some techniques:
Remind him how much of a prize you are
Guys like to feel they’ve got a prize so to get him back you need to make yourself look irresistible from afar. The key here is the word ‘afar’. Do not go chasing him. You’ll feel like you want to but the only thing you’ll gain by chasing is to make yourself look too available. If he thinks he can get you at any time, then there’s no prize.
Spend time working on you, if you are living an exciting life and he sees snippets on Facebook or hears about your adventures through friends, his interest is going to peak.
Don’t contact him. Let your emotions settle and let’s make him wonder why you haven’t tried to get in touch. Don’t diss his new girlfriend either or you’ll just come across as unlikable and bitter.
Don’t sit in the corner overeating and slobbing about. Make yourself your new project, particularly physically. Not only will a great diet and exercise make you feel better emotionally but if you happen to bump into your ex narcissist he’ll be thinking ‘wow she’s gorgeous, why did I let her go’.
Recovering after your break up
You need to work through recovery whether he comes back or not. Your emotions need to go somewhere so write thoughts in your journal. Alternatively write your thoughts on pieces of paper, go into nature and set them alight or float them down a river. Say out loud ‘I’m letting you go’ as you release them into the universe.
Go out with friends, have fun, maybe even go on a date. Don’t date someone in your narcs friendship circle or that could backfire but definitely go out there and see how you feel with someone new.
Think about the reasons your relationship went wrong. Were you too needy? Too demanding? Did you stop giving your boyfriend attention? Did you get too comfortable and stop making an effort to keep things fresh? How will you change things if you get him back?
Men like to chase
If you are meant to be back with your ex narcissist then your ex will realise he misses having you in his life and will start making moves to talk to you and get in touch. Tempting as it is, do not start a relationship unless he has ended things with his girlfriend.
And if it doesn’t work out remember you are a beautiful lady and there are plenty of gorgeous available men. Often the reason something doesn’t work out is because there’s an amazing opportunity around the corner.
Work on yourself, keep busy and if you are unable to win the narcissist back and he stays with his new girlfriend move on with dignity …you will be looking amazing, be having fantastic fun and your energy will attract a much better man.